Rad Internet Site

Here we are, at the big damned end of it all. A few loose bits were shed. I’d say all said and done maybe somewhere just shy of 7.5% of the strips were cut entirely and another 2.5% got some minor tweaks. I got to be incorrect one more time, as Z has clearly done one more strip- a farewell to those who were banished.

The Edge kids show up again as hackers. The Flatliner site got “hacked” at the end. It was just a bunch of bullshit that looked like a screen from the Matrix and someone claiming they had taken it over- a truly pointless endeavor. It’s nice to know that some people out there have even less to do with their lives than you do your own.

It’s bittersweet to be here. Having read and reviewed all of this- having learned nothing and grown not at all from it. But the time for reminiscing is over. Now comes the real work- creating NEW content for Rad Internet Site.

As they occasionally say in Bubble Bobble- “This is not a true ending.”
See you soon!

I assume the Flatliner name for this store would be BS Books. Note that it is possible that Zelda is listening to those headphones the whole time and the 7-Up can is talking, per precedent set in The Cancelled Years. Our new character discovered in 2022 lives on!

I forgot that date one with the ex was Valentine’s Day. I don’t know if that contributes in any way to my blanket dislike of all holidays. It certainly moves what may have been a neutral holiday into the bad category. Hah, it probably does!

Actually, in my day there were no freaking medals for defeating the monsters in Dragon Warrior III. Also, I’ll probably be streaming the remake when it launches. Life is circular.

With what I believe to be one more strip I plan to cut, here’s some laziness while things fizzle out. Actually, Dave’s appearance is a tight two frames. Punchline, setup, boom. Dave drops the jokes twice as efficiently as the rest of us. Even though this strip is 16 years old, there is some recourse I can take to punish him for this. *AHEM*

ALYSSA, WHEN YOU READ THIS, PLEASE HIT DAVE.

She’ll do it. All these years later and I know that Alyssa, Dave’s one true love is always down to give him a good punch in the arm, for any reason. It’s how I know love really does exist.

Anyway, sometimes someone puts internet slang in your mouth like it is made of real words. There’s a small chance I made this and don’t recall. Once again, I could find that out, but I probably won’t.

I censored the third strip, even though it probably didn’t need that. I don’t need to do all this work again when I’m pushing 60.

I never quite got the hang of getting fired from my terrible for my bad webcomic. I tried it with Brigham’s and I tried it here. Somehow I felt okay naming the town but not naming Josh. Josh Josh Josh. I don’t remember his last name. But if you run into a completely unhinged guy in southeastern Massachusetts named Josh, there’s at least a 4% chance it’s him.

The other of the two edge kids appears. Somehow they each got an appearance without spewing out hate speech, which definitely hasn’t ever happened in real life. It’s a real big parade of assholes here at the end.

I had definitely had enough of dead end underpaying retail jobs at that point, and in like only a decade I’d escape them and start enjoying the much better dead underpaying IT jobs. The world is beautiful.

The long silence approaches. I thought we were already into 2006 but here are our New Year’s resolutions coming in on January 3rd. Jake’s resolution was completed in the next panel. The other two were not completed at all.

We tackle the sudden ouster of my boss who spent all his time sleeping in his office. His replacement was a guy who said exactly what is depicted in the third strip literally in earshot and eye-line of total strangers- of customers who were shopping in the store he was running.

It was breathtaking in an absolutely terrible way, so naturally, I depicted it.

The Vegas story that never was is alluded to here. Snafu Dave met me out there and we abused a distracted blackjack dealer to the point of “getting paid on a 24” for as long as the casino didn’t notice that we were thrilled.

I’m not 100% sure I made the one where Harvest is yelling through the door. Clearly my focus was waning if I had missed nearly a month of updates- that was very unlike me. Flatliner is actually flatlining.

What was it they said in Jurassic Park? “Life finds a way of getting in the way of life.” Pretty sure that’s an exact quote.

Note Jen’s crayon strip is framed artwork in the third strip with two total anonymous people.

Three quick and easy strips. These might have been prepared in advance for a trip and I should have taken the advice I also don’t follow today: time off should be time off. Meh, left unfollowed you get a full run of Flatliner in only 8 months so past me doesn’t have to listen to a thing current me is saying. Also, he can’t.

The straightedge guy is actually a second appearance, but I cut the strip in which he first appeared- it was targeted hate on someone, and no impression of them could be made without hate speech. Back then I included it, but it doesn’t work even in parody. There’s a high probability that his final appearance will be the final strip to get cut. I haven’t looked to see what it says yet, but it’s probably pretty bad.

School time! When I was recommending the newest feature films, the likes of Be Cool or The Pacifier (this is the crap that was being released around then) I was at school. Drifting unknowingly toward doom. I must have god damn hated a classmate. Or maybe I hated classmates in general. We’ll never be quite sure.

I truly did get a markdown or two for enjoying various assignments for my classes. It’s not quite as bad as my high school, which would straight up fail me for expressing anything in a remotely creative fashion, but it wasn’t great.

A quick glance shows that there may be approximately two more weeks worth of Flatliner to go, then we’re on to something new hopefully!

Bad school, bad job. Bad school, bad job. Bad school, bad job.

I think we’re past the point where Harvest has stopped creating new strips. For these last few days it’s going to be mostly me and maybe a guest strip or two.

This is my second favorite Volcano graphic I’ve ever seen. Remembering that the other one exists is a always a delight and could potentially lead to unrelated future content on RIS. Hooray!

Meet Danie. I went ahead and added new characters because at the time, I thought this thing was just going to continue on and I would never grow or mature. It in fact did not continue though I did not grow or mature, so I was half right.

IRL Danie was the unfortunate focus of the last great crush I had on anyone before the dark times. I was so hopelessly into her that when the time came to profess my feelings I did so in the form of a secret Flatliner strip in a hidden directory on the website.

Ultimately, she did not feel the same way and that never went anywhere. I told myself that her judgment could be questioned- she was a huge fan of Final Fantasy VII which is just a wholly unacceptable opinion to have. It never would’ve worked. Case in point, the next person who came along. Love for that game is a huge red flag. Still, she was incredibly fun to work with.

We’re lucky there’s about a 2005-month’s worth of strips away from the end of the road. There easily could have been a million strips about Jason being some kind of obnoxious film nerd while working for minimum wage at a place that sold expired candy. I mean, there’s probably about 12 more of those, but that is still– I believe– less than a million.

I wasn’t good at college. I established that in a 2002 strip, and as you can see, by 2005 I hadn’t made much progress. Don’t worry, things barely worked out in the end.

Even a one off character like “my college roommate who never appears in Flatliner himself’s girlfriend” get a reprieve by the end, so yeah. I’m pretty good at milking everything for far, far more than it was ever worth. What actually happened was I didn’t want to make a new character “sprite” for a random student. There’s zero actual connection to that person who last appeared in December 2002.