To make me laugh or do otherwise

The cold open continues. Marty exhibits a confident, casual prejudice in an environment where it isn’t taken lightly. It would be a few years still before I’d understand Reddit, which is an evil place full of Martys running around.

Marty is supposed to grow over time, but it’s not a quick journey for him. He is deeply troubled, and as we will see later a completely enthusiastic alcoholic. He is proud of the damage he is doing to himself. I can relate.

This whole thing was written in 2014 for almost no good reason except that I was bored and had limited ways to preoccupy myself for a while. It stands as something I’ve written that I didn’t completely hate five seconds after saving the most recent draft.

I told my friend that a character was based on her, then forgot about it and made the character remarkably more stupid. More on that when the character appears. Sorry, Amy, you’re much smarter than your puppet-world counterpart.

Why Baltimore even?

We’re off to the races with Chapter 3 and it’s Anime-con, Anime-con, and then something in the near-range field of misogyny. Of course Jon is there. Was he playing a character or was his actual personality just super toxic? It’s not mutually exclusive.

But the first one- is that racist? No. Massachusetts at one point had two ethnicities, and those colonists were pretty effective in their goal to reduce that to one. I don’t condone it, it’s just what they did.

I guess I worked a Perfect Strangers reference into the second strip. Good on me! I love that terrible, terrible sitcom. It can never be made again. It had to happen in the mid-80’s and at no other time. It was like that flower Walter Matthau cared about in the Dennis the Menace movie.

I’m writing this so, so far ahead. This thing is mapped. I’m as close as regionals are to having to make new content for this site. And you know how close regionals are. Anyway, I’d rather die twice than go to an Anime convention in 2022 the year of our lord. Thank you and God bless.

His love for Goku an Rikku were both unmatched.
We met Wayne I think at two conventions. His comic was better than ours.
I have no non-toxic memories of Jon. Best he could do was a quick 14 hours of Tekken.

Only 3 people are allowed to read this

New section alert! New section alert! Be aware of the new section!

I’m kidding, no one’s going to read this. At least I knocked out an overdue Wet Hot American Summer reference out in the title. This site was sorely lacking in those.

The Hero’s Gurnal (as I have so bravely titled it) will be a collection of one-off writing projects that I’ve worked on before and never quite fleshed out into anything more substantial.

Originally I had planned to debut a different writing sample here first, but formatting issues nearly made that other piece completely lost to the world. Unfortunately for all of us, I found it elsewhere and it’s somewhat readable- so in a few months time that will also be going up here. There’s countless bits and pieces and projects I’ve gotten into over time, so I’m not quite sure what treasures we’ll see here. Maybe some never-before-shared stuff. We’ll see.

I’m going to start with No Strings Attached– (possibly also With Strings Attached– I never quite decided.) Either way it’s not as sexy as it sounds, because this is a screenplay for a TV show about puppets.

The idea was that the show takes place in a world where a child’s birthday wish made all the puppets in the world come to full sentient life, and our main character absolutely hates them all. The rest of the world has been a lot more accepting of this phenomenon for whatever reason.

The idea was that over time, he would be forced to become friends with one of his puppet coworkers, and that we would slowly watch him come around while being forced to cooperate in every aspect of his life. Think Perfect Strangers but Balki is a sentient ventriloquist’s dummy.

We start with a cold open that goes to greater distances than other scenes to show that the puppets can be annoying to be around. They tend to be a lot more calm and collected than Marty is in any given scene elsewhere.

All bad things, too.

Chapter two crashes to an awkward halt!

The appearance of pizza job tells me a lot about what was going on at the time. I had that job for about a month. When I took it on I said I would need 4 days off about a month after I started. I mentioned it several times, they ignored it every time and I never heard from them again after I took those days off anyway. Don’t worry though, I had a good reason- I drove halfway across the country to find out what nerds are like instead of looking into a mirror.

I recall Zelda telling me about intel work she did on Becky’s favorite outfit before drawing her into the comics. In today’s installment, she only bears psychological abuse. I imagine that’s a nice break for her character.

Well, time to move on to chapter 3. Hopefully I can figure out why it’s chapter 3 and chapter 2 didn’t just run longer. I probably won’t.

I have seen Zelda elicit very similar reactions from a great many people over the years.
Pizza job was bad even if there were underwears. Actually pizza job was bad BECAUSE there were underwears.
Really just taking an extra second to rub this in Ryan’s face.

There are many subtle lasers

One last blast of continuity before the chapter ends. My dude doesn’t look very good standing in front of that wall with that shirt.

We see where Dana’s music career is going in the second strip. He was part of The Scorched Earth Policy, which hadn’t yet changed their name, and he was in Tremont, which also hadn’t changed their name yet. I can’t even remember both name changes at this point. One was called Kite Factory it was the best of the bunch. Several of their songs didn’t sound like screaming.

I think that one of my absolute favorite things that ever happened because of Flatliner was that Dana did print up the sprite of Erin and frame it as a full photograph. That was really one of the best bits he ever did.

Today is July 14th (no it isn’t, I’m a liar. I am typing this soooo far in advance), and we’re coming up on the last two strips before we move on to Chapter 3. I’ll be adjusting the posting schedule a little bit, but there will still be a lot of Flatliner coming forth. The next two strips will post tomorrow, and Chapter 3 will begin after taking a week off for no discernible reason. Onward and downward.

Amazing that there will never, ever, ever be a Warcraft IV. Ever.
The band posters were probably actually a delight for the people in those bands.
I’m sure Harvest actually knew what Dana was saying under those bandages.

It’s Tricky

When Emo music was a thing, my first impression of what exactly it was did not match up to whatever it was that most people thought it was. I don’t know the specifics of the genre, never have. I thought it was sad boys with acoustic guitars who desperately needed a personality. Apparently there’s more to it than that. The guitars don’t have to be acoustic or something, I don’t know. That or it was never a genre and just something people labeled the pop music of 2003.

I see the upper limits of my Microsoft Image Composer ability showing through in the Cuba comic. Those green outlines around the jets bother me to this day. Not enough that I’ll think about them again any time soon, but enough.

At some point the site that I created to host Flatliner also hosted a few other webcomics that I was enjoying, simply because it cost me nothing extra to do and it was something I could do that would help the creators of these strips. I should have encouraged Matt and Reilly to make a spinoff. A Flatliner universe story about well-adjusted people might have been interesting.

Clearly it is not RUN DMC, as *lame* *lame* and *crap* *crap* are playing. All their music was good
Ianternational Espionage 2: Dread Zone Cuba
I did not think that when I looked at these 20 years later I’d be noting that Ronald McDonald is a thing of the past

Like taking candy from a rich, powerful baby

This grassy hill strip from Zelda features the single front-facing frame of any character at any time in Flatliner. Every other one seems to be this weird sideways/isometric view Harvest created. The drawn Kool-Aid Man truly elicits the terror Zelda intended.

I recall it being sort of a shock when Lanny left. We knew it was coming, but it still seemed like a surprise. I’m still running up against a wall trying to find a decent 3+ player game of Mario Party, though.

There had to be about 20 feet of planned shelving in that toy store that the owners assumed was just absolute garbage that the employees would steal. Not even because they wanted it, but because they were bored. Do I regret stealing the gross candy? No. I never would even tried that candy if I weren’t actively stealing it. TL:DR- wasn’t worth it but I still don’t care.

Oh Noooooo!
This is what happened in real life
I don’t know why the toy store even pretended to sell candy, it just went straight into the employees’ mouths

Did you hear about the circus?

I’m picturing a sad, muffled, off-screen character death denoted only by sound as many movies these days choose to do. It’s a miracle this wasn’t another after-life storyline scenario.

*Edit* – pulled the middle strip.

It was pretty rude of that first Pirates of the Caribbean movie to be as good as it was at the time. We were very busy repeating the same lame joke over and over and this movie came out, interrupting the flow of that one specific joke.

Poot
There was a pirate movie in the middle of when we were making the pirate movie joke.

Keep your mouth shut when you talk

Strip #151 is perfect. Strip #150 was probably made entirely to elicit a response from Dana so to then have the followup be this is great. Nice violence, excellent punch.

I remain convinced that some of our guest contributors enjoyed drugs a lot more than I did at the time, which was not at all.

The Wendy’s rant would have been better suited for Harvest’s character, but the conversation did come from me being nearly lethally caffeinated and the other side of it was Erin’s AIM away message, so that’s why those characters are the ones having that conversation.

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot Me

Oh wow so that Jon story arc just kept going, huh? I probably very well had a real feud with him. That, or I was hurting for content. It was one of the two.

The bear and the cat playing Rock Paper Scissors is still pretty good.

The 150th comic (147th here, I think? Ugh.) is just right for what we thought passed for humor at the time.

Just violence with no punchline.
This, overall, still works.
This was nice.